Life is full of so many crazy moments. Getting in the car, going places, running to and fro, eating, cleaning, doing, reading, watching, buying… life sure goes fast! Every once-in-awhile in the midst of chaos, I’m looking at my kids as the world spins around us, and I have this moment of clarity and love. Suddenly, I’m filled with immense and powerful love for my three boys. It usually comes during a brief one on one moment, when I get lost in their big eyes and I no longer hear a word they are saying. The world freezes and I am overcome and my heart melts.

These little dudes that I see day in and day out appear perfect and beautiful to me, dirty faces and all. It’s like I remember all of a sudden how precious they are to me, and what a massive void they would leave in my heart if they were gone. And then I feel proud of who they are and the specific challenges they work to overcome (the progress that only a mother would observe). I smile inside at their successes and strengths, because they make me so proud. I love their quirks, their laugh, their fears, their craziness, their freckles, and the way their hair sticks up on the side. I am totally, 100% theirs, and I can’t wait to see what this little young person grows into.

And then the world comes spinning back into reality and I fetch the glass of milk that sweet boy was asking me for. And I don’t mind as much.

It’s a good thing these moments come every once-in-awhile, or I would get lost in the business of life (or freak out when that glass of milk gets knocked across the table). These rare and tender moments are so etched in my mind, I think I will remember them when I am 102 years old.

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I was so pleased to find out today in our youth program at church that they have added a value to the Young Women’s Theme; VIRTUE!

To see the official letter from the church, click here,

A Return to Virtue
“Now is the time for a return to virtue!”

The attribute and value of Virtue has been added to the Young Women theme. “Virtue is a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards. It encompasses chastity and moral purity.”

The time has come for the young women of the Church to lead the world in a return to virtue. This is the time to be pure and to qualify for the guidance of the Holy Ghost. In the coming year, it is our desire that all young women and their leaders focus on the meaning of virtue, what young women can do to accept and act upon this value, and how this attribute can strengthen young women as they prepare to be worthy to make and keep sacred covenants and receive temple ordinances.

We will distribute through local priesthood leaders and also post online the Personal Progress value experiences and projects associated with this value. We desire all young women to complete and be recognized for completing this value, in addition to the seven values listed in the Personal Progress book. You may want to study the following scriptural references as you contemplate a return to virtue.

“I believe one virtuous young woman led by the Spirit can change the world.”

Taken from lds.org

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Good morning everyone,

Today I wanted to let everyone in on a little debate Bethy and I have had among ourselves for several months. I don’t mean a debate between us, but a debate we have been having collectively with ourselves. Ironically, it’s the same debate we’ve begun to see taking place around us as the world has been coming to terms with its definition of “Family.”

Our purpose in starting the Family Soup was to help people around us who felt lonely, helpless, and ashamed find strength and hope in their family situations by recognizing the reality of struggle in other families who might otherwise appear (or work hard to appear) “perfect.” There was a time when my wife and I questioned very seriously if we would stay together as a couple or have our family torn apart by some seemingly insurmountable differences. As we found a way to overcome our problems, we began to see that there were also other families and individuals who had also thrown off the strains of difficulty they faced.

The change for us was as distinct as night and day. We used to believe that if we stayed together, we would be looking forward to a life of general friction and sacrifice. Today we enjoy general peace, joy, romance, and harmony which we used to assume would not be part of this life. We are not the same person, but we are together in our direction, goals, and understanding; it hurts to say goodbye even for a short time.

There were many things and many people that helped along the way, for which we will always be grateful. But if you were to dope me up on truth serum, connect me to a lie detector, and technologically extract precise impulses of knowledge from my brain, in each case you would come to the same conclusion–that I know without a single doubt exactly when and how things turned around, and WHO suddenly stepped in and straightened everything out. Let the world doubt all they want, but my wife and I witnessed a miracle–and we remember it every day.

But in doing The Family Soup, we haven’t wanted to alienate those who need help in their families but who aren’t of our faith. We’ve struggled with how to approach the subject of family without dominating it with potentially controversial religious tones. And my last two sentences make me want to scream.

“Not of our faith?” “Potentially controversial religious tones?” You’ll have to forgive me, but it feels like trying to help someone get electricity to their house by rigging something with some “politically correct” double AAs when I know that right nearby is an outlet to the city’s main power source.

Or “I desperately need to get my plumbing fixed because my house is flooding! My plumber doesn’t seem to be doing the job, but I won’t use the plumber that fixed your pipes because that’s YOUR plumber. Oh no, I couldn’t do that! And by the way, I don’t want to talk about your plumber–it offends me.”

Or someone’s only mode of transportation isn’t working, their stranded, and they say “Fine, I’ll call the mechanic–but this is how I expect him to fix it or he’s outta here!”

Folks, either something works or it doesn’t. My faith or yours is irrelevant. THE major factor in saving our marriage was learning some things about life beyond this one–things that were important that we thought we already understood by virtue of the fact we were members of a church but in reality didn’t have a clue about. Our understanding of those things didn’t come by our own intelligent efforts to study them. They were handed to us on the inside, they were a gift. And they only came when we were completely honest with ourselves, were bereft of all of our pride, and turned to Heavenly Father completely. I don’t know what else to say.

So in the principle of honesty I intend to open up and be myself on The Family Soup. I intend to tell things straight as I see them and if it comes across as preachy or overtly-religious, I hope you’ll understand that for me truth doesn’t separate itself into people’s opinions or categories. Things either work or they don’t. Things either are or they aren’t. We can thank science for teaching us that when we observe the same result after repeated experiment, we can assume that we will continue to see that result in future application. I couldn’t agree more.

Thanks,

Calvin

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I have a new goal of posting at least 3-4 times a week, and since putting my kids to bed tonight drained my brain of all intelligent capability, I pulled an old book off the shelf to see if I could find anything interesting there. Within about 10 seconds I found an awesome passage!

“Marriage & Family: Gospel Insights” was published in 1983 by two of my favorite authors- Stephen R. Covey and Truman G. Madsen. The first page says simply, “to our grandchildren.” I don’t know why, but it tickles me even more to know that this was written before ‘The 7 Habits’ even came out. Both Covey and Madsen are intellectuals and spiritual giants. I am pleased to share this particular gem regarding parenting with you from their book. Calvin and I have recently recognized these three types of problems in our kids, which is why it was so cool to hear it put into words- and so clearly! I hope you find this useful too….

“One of the most important distinctions parents need to learn is the three kinds of problems they may have with their children. The first one we could call a value problem; it attempts to answer the question, “Should the child do it?” The second one we could call a competence problem having to do with the question, “Can the child do it?” The third becomes a motivational problem having to do with the question, “Does the child want to do it?” [Read more →]

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