My 4 year-old won’t wipe his own bum. He’s afraid he’ll get poop on his hands. So we battle it out each day who’s going to wipe his bottom. One afternoon, I heard my 4 year-old son calling from the bathroom for me to wipe him. I was in the middle of something so I replied, “You can do it honey! I know you can!” He replies back, “I know… but Mom, you’re just so good at it!”
By Laura Fisher
I LOVE what you guys are doing with this site! I check it every day!
In reading your “funny moments” I had to share one of my oldest, Jacob. We were at Walmart and passed by a group of Chinese young men who were speaking Chinese with each other and having a very funny conversation it appeared. As we walked by them, Jacob (our friendly child) said, “hi” to them. One of the guys turned to him and said, “hi” back as we passed.
Jacob then exclaimed, “MOM! I speak Chinese!!!!!!! I just said ‘hi’ to those guys and they said ‘hi’ back and I understood them! I can’t believe I can speak Chinese! I never knew I was that smart!”
Today while Dallin (1) was asleep in the morning, I hurried to pay bills and take care of paperwork. Spence (6) and Grant (4) were rummaging through the art box making various crafts. I was feeling quite proud that they weren’t sitting in front of the TV. 10 minutes later, I get off the phone and come downstairs to see water and paper towels everywhere! The water and towels didn’t bother me, WHY they were there is what kills me…
Apparently they had decided they wanted to decorate toilet paper/paper towel holders. They went through the house checking for empty rolls. No big deal. When they got to the paper towels in the kitchen, Spencer said he must have that big, empty paper towel roll and designed a plan to use up the towels to leave the roll empty.
First they filled a pitcher with water.
Then they dumped it on the floor.
Then they unrolled the paper towels and cleaned up the water.
NOW they had a beautifully empty paper towel holder, which they cut in half, decorated, and made into flutes.
My conversation with Spencer (7) after school last week-
Me- So who did you play with today?
Spencer- Um. Brayden. But I think I made a new friend.
Me- Yeah? What did you play?
Spencer- Well, Brayden and this other kid were playing just a dumb game, so I met a new kid and we looked for bugs instead.
Me- What were the other guys playing?
Spencer- They were playing ‘chase the sweet and saxy Cheetah girls.’
Me- The what girls?
Spencer- The ’sweet and saxy Cheetah girls.’
Me- Saxy?
Spencer- Yeah, saxy.
Me- Spencer, what does ’saxy’ mean?
Spencer- I don’t know. But it was a dumb game so I just played with another guy and we found cool bugs.
I’m glad that for now, the ’saxy’ girls are not as interesting as the bugs are. Let’s hope Spencer’s interest in snakes and bugs lasts at least a few more years!
I often prep Grant (4) about house rules before he goes to somebody’s house. I was on my way to drop him off at our neighborhood co-op (the COOLEST thing EVER invented, by the way). I was busy, distracted and in a hurry, but I had managed to mention to Grant that this was a house he had never been to before. Grant has apparently actually been listening to those past ‘house rules pep talks,’ because out of the blue, THIS is what he announced to ME in the car…
Grant- Ok, Mom. Let’s go over the rules.
Number 1. NO sneaking food out of their pantry.
Number 2. NO running around like you’re crazy.
Number 3. NO going outside unless they say.
I was laughing so hard. I don’t think I’ve ever said any of those rules except for number 3. Oh, and if you know Grant and his food obsession, you’ll find #1 even funnier. I catch him in the pantry 10 seconds after lunch saying, “But mom, I’m starving!” Crazy kid.
I used to buy smelly soap so I could tell if my kids washed their hands or not, because for SOME reason, boys would rather lie about washing their hands and eat with gross germs and dirt than actually use a little soap and water. So I used to have them wash their hands and then come back so I could ’smell’ their watermelon hands, or whatever scented soap we had. This is what Grant (4) said to me today:
Grant- Mom, I washed my hands.
Me- Did you really wash them?
Grant- Yeah. I did. Wanna smell my breath?
I smelled his breath just to humor him (and myself), I was laughing so hard!
On Sunday we were having chicken enchiladas. Grant (4) wouldn’t try them (surprise, surprise). Spencer (7) was reluctant, but tasted them. I was clearing the table when I heard Spencer say, “That was good. Can I have some more chicken Archuleta?” (If I have to explain this one to you, do a google search for ‘American Idol’ and ‘David Archuleta’).
Out of the blue, Grant (4) came up to me on the couch and said, “Mom, I just love you mostly, and hate you a little.” When I tried to probe for more understanding, he reassured me, “Don’t worry Mom. I only hate you a tiny, tiny bit.” I’m guessing it’s when I make him brush his teeth or eat his dinner. 
In the car one evening, the boys were discussing which star was the biggest. Spencer (7) said, “The North Star is the biggest.” Grant (4) replied with certainty, “No! The Death Star is the biggest!”
Spencer (7) brought home his parent teacher conference report. I said, “Spencer, your teacher says you are such a good reader. It says you are reading far above your grade level. I’m so proud of you!” To which Spencer replied, “I know mom. I read the report.”